2018 Season Review
2018 was another big year for the Moody Blues FC. The 45’s won the mid-season cup with a limping iron man display against an army of Victory Boys, won the Old Mongrel’s Carnival beating the first and second ranked teams in the semi’s and final. The 35’s won the league in the first half of the year, won the Old Mongrel’s Carnival and won the grand finale. Of course, it would have been good to play and beat the opposition who led the comp around that time but that team had a hissy fit and took their collective ball home like the pack of weapons-grade cunts they are so what do you do? Proudly the Moodies also continued our philanthropic duties raising $500 towards Baby Dodgey’s new knee. Anyway, a great year competitively and a lot of laughs.
2018 was another big year for the Moody Blues FC. The 45’s won the mid-season cup with a limping iron man display against an army of Victory Boys, won the Old Mongrel’s Carnival beating the first and second ranked teams in the semi’s and final. The 35’s won the league in the first half of the year, won the Old Mongrel’s Carnival and won the grand finale. Of course, it would have been good to play and beat the opposition who led the comp around that time but that team had a hissy fit and took their collective ball home like the pack of weapons-grade cunts they are so what do you do? Proudly the Moodies also continued our philanthropic duties raising $500 towards Baby Dodgey’s new knee. Anyway, a great year competitively and a lot of laughs.
Over 35’s MVP Award
We had two players tie in the 35’s for MVP. Tommy and Bobby. Sounds like a Bon Jovi song. When they were good. By winning this award you can assume both Tommy and Bobby are both dead good at football.
Someone told me a stat that in the first half of the year the Moodies didn’t lose a game when Tommy played in goal. I cannot attest to the validity of this claim but it sounds like a good story. If its not true I will continue to say goals copped weren’t his fault and continue to blame Brimstone’s management. I like to think Tommy saves his saves for when they matter. Like Toddy’s back passes and penalty shoot outs in carnival finals. Fuck yeah, he does.
We had two players tie in the 35’s for MVP. Tommy and Bobby. Sounds like a Bon Jovi song. When they were good. By winning this award you can assume both Tommy and Bobby are both dead good at football.
Someone told me a stat that in the first half of the year the Moodies didn’t lose a game when Tommy played in goal. I cannot attest to the validity of this claim but it sounds like a good story. If its not true I will continue to say goals copped weren’t his fault and continue to blame Brimstone’s management. I like to think Tommy saves his saves for when they matter. Like Toddy’s back passes and penalty shoot outs in carnival finals. Fuck yeah, he does.
Bobby is a happy go lucky menace, particularly when drunk. I’d describe him as a weirdly sexualized shuttle-run loving Viking who often looks down at the ball like it’s the first time he’s ever seen one before legging it past the poor sod marking him. When people want to play sexy football, Bobby ignores them, drives forward in straight lines and kicks the fuck out of it when he’s near something approximating a goal. Sometimes direct is best and why Bobby is the shared MVP.
Co-winners of the 35’s MVP: Tommy & Bobby
Co-winners of the 35’s MVP: Tommy & Bobby
Over 45’s MVP Award
We also had two players tie in the 45’s for the MVP. Millsy and Bordo. Sounds like the named duos on one of those old apothecary wagons, selling snake oil that claimed cures for everything from baldness to blindness. You know that pair of carpet baggers who had to fuck off in the night before anyone worked out, they got fleeced. There were some big wins this year but I’d like to think this pair got the nod for the arguing and piss taking they often instigated against each other. This inevitably led to sledging becoming the primary form of communication across the team, the opposing team being utterly ignored and generally started free flowing football. Of course, opposition teams looked at this team of arguing badgers like the Loony Bin had an evening pass, felt weird about being ignored and couldn’t understand how they were now being outplayed. Case in point the final game of the season against Rovers. Rovers were 3-0 up at half time with Moodies winning 4-3 at full time with Rovers wondering what the fuck happened. Love it.
Co-winners of the 45’s MVP: Millsy & Bordo
We also had two players tie in the 45’s for the MVP. Millsy and Bordo. Sounds like the named duos on one of those old apothecary wagons, selling snake oil that claimed cures for everything from baldness to blindness. You know that pair of carpet baggers who had to fuck off in the night before anyone worked out, they got fleeced. There were some big wins this year but I’d like to think this pair got the nod for the arguing and piss taking they often instigated against each other. This inevitably led to sledging becoming the primary form of communication across the team, the opposing team being utterly ignored and generally started free flowing football. Of course, opposition teams looked at this team of arguing badgers like the Loony Bin had an evening pass, felt weird about being ignored and couldn’t understand how they were now being outplayed. Case in point the final game of the season against Rovers. Rovers were 3-0 up at half time with Moodies winning 4-3 at full time with Rovers wondering what the fuck happened. Love it.
Co-winners of the 45’s MVP: Millsy & Bordo
NOT- The Best Social Media Contributor Award
Ok.
We have a (mostly) annual Best Social Media Contributor Award. In the past there has been some interesting contributors to this category from Manly Matty’s cover girl media blitz, Wade's man-whoring on Cairns Eye Magazine campaign or even Karl’s drunken missing-child-on-a- milk-carton antics a few Christmas parties back. But dear Baby-Jesus help me, if we let a particular former Moody even be nominated for this award, he would be retiring this trophy on the first fucken attempt. So, the Moodies Brain Trust got together, realized there had to be a separate category for those individuals who commit acts of such personal dubious achievement and thus created the 'Stone Cold Super Nova Shit Show Award'.
It will not be an annual award.
Funny pictures on Facebook will not win you this award.
People will not successfully nominate you for this award with descriptors like, "Hey remember when so and so did that funny thing? Ho ho ho".
No.
This award will only be given to epic level, grandmaster kicking, Holy Yezzus, I don't know how to describe it but I know it when I see it, levels of fuckery. There should be some kind of air raid siren, tsunami warning type shit that goes off before and/or after the fact. This act actually breaches the teams Code of Conduct (COC for short) and tarnishes the reputation of the Moody Blues FC, which let’s face it….
WHEN YOUR ACTIONS result in Cairns Post articles titled “Lewd act or just itchy?” and your poor legal representative, charged with providing you with the best possible defense is left delivering opening comments to the court starting with, “So, my client had recently shaved his balls”, You Sir, are now operating on a level that leaves most of us just staring at the sun.
Ok.
We have a (mostly) annual Best Social Media Contributor Award. In the past there has been some interesting contributors to this category from Manly Matty’s cover girl media blitz, Wade's man-whoring on Cairns Eye Magazine campaign or even Karl’s drunken missing-child-on-a- milk-carton antics a few Christmas parties back. But dear Baby-Jesus help me, if we let a particular former Moody even be nominated for this award, he would be retiring this trophy on the first fucken attempt. So, the Moodies Brain Trust got together, realized there had to be a separate category for those individuals who commit acts of such personal dubious achievement and thus created the 'Stone Cold Super Nova Shit Show Award'.
It will not be an annual award.
Funny pictures on Facebook will not win you this award.
People will not successfully nominate you for this award with descriptors like, "Hey remember when so and so did that funny thing? Ho ho ho".
No.
This award will only be given to epic level, grandmaster kicking, Holy Yezzus, I don't know how to describe it but I know it when I see it, levels of fuckery. There should be some kind of air raid siren, tsunami warning type shit that goes off before and/or after the fact. This act actually breaches the teams Code of Conduct (COC for short) and tarnishes the reputation of the Moody Blues FC, which let’s face it….
WHEN YOUR ACTIONS result in Cairns Post articles titled “Lewd act or just itchy?” and your poor legal representative, charged with providing you with the best possible defense is left delivering opening comments to the court starting with, “So, my client had recently shaved his balls”, You Sir, are now operating on a level that leaves most of us just staring at the sun.
Now, I do acknowledge we're all adults and I'm sure across our collective history we can all point to moments in our lives which have escalated beyond the acceptable parameters of polite society. We can look back and say, "Hmmm – things got kinda crazy last night". Then there are situations where you find yourself in your car, speeding down a double lane highway, having a red hot go at yourself while staring seductively into the eyes of the female driver and passenger in the car next to you. A few police interviews later the lady prosecutor then tells the court this is not the first time you have been charged OR SENTENCED for this type of behavior and some consequences are well over due. And the Judge agrees and jails your dumb arse.
A four-point plan. Yes - that is what is needed!
Point 1. Have a fucking word with yourself.
Point 2. If it honestly gets you into this epic level of bother - stop manscaping your ball bag.
Point 3. In public, wakey wakey hands off snakey.
Point 4. If you can't stop...window tinting??? I fucken dunno.
What’s also a crucial element of this category is the reactions it elicited from people beyond the orbit of the Moody Blues FC (which unexplainably continues to expand). So, when this all happened, I went onto various Cairns social media platforms to gauge how people responded to the news. ‘VARYING’ would probably be how I would describe it.
Comments included;
The obvious: ‘What a wanker’
The logical: ‘Steal a car, get nothing. Wank in your own moving car - jail!’
The empathetic: ‘Masturbating while trying to make eye contact with people while driving 80km/h on the highway. C’mon we’ve all been there.’
Horse Sports: "A better scratching than Who Shot Thebarman in the 2017 Melbourne Cup.
Future Employment: If you've thought about it, others have created porn about it.
The comedic: ‘I also like it fast and furious.’
Mansplaining: 'Dude get a better brand of razor!'
The footballing: “Is it just me or is a history playing for Leichardt worse?’
Anyway, it’s clear this category is reserved for the most personally injurious amongst us to the point they don’t need to be named. Persona Non Grata status stamped. If you’re so inclined, I’m sure Uncle Google can assist you.
2018 provides a winner of the Stone Cold Super Nova Shit Show Award.
A four-point plan. Yes - that is what is needed!
Point 1. Have a fucking word with yourself.
Point 2. If it honestly gets you into this epic level of bother - stop manscaping your ball bag.
Point 3. In public, wakey wakey hands off snakey.
Point 4. If you can't stop...window tinting??? I fucken dunno.
What’s also a crucial element of this category is the reactions it elicited from people beyond the orbit of the Moody Blues FC (which unexplainably continues to expand). So, when this all happened, I went onto various Cairns social media platforms to gauge how people responded to the news. ‘VARYING’ would probably be how I would describe it.
Comments included;
The obvious: ‘What a wanker’
The logical: ‘Steal a car, get nothing. Wank in your own moving car - jail!’
The empathetic: ‘Masturbating while trying to make eye contact with people while driving 80km/h on the highway. C’mon we’ve all been there.’
Horse Sports: "A better scratching than Who Shot Thebarman in the 2017 Melbourne Cup.
Future Employment: If you've thought about it, others have created porn about it.
The comedic: ‘I also like it fast and furious.’
Mansplaining: 'Dude get a better brand of razor!'
The footballing: “Is it just me or is a history playing for Leichardt worse?’
Anyway, it’s clear this category is reserved for the most personally injurious amongst us to the point they don’t need to be named. Persona Non Grata status stamped. If you’re so inclined, I’m sure Uncle Google can assist you.
2018 provides a winner of the Stone Cold Super Nova Shit Show Award.
YES CUNT, IT’S YOUR FUCKEN FAULT AWARD
This award is normally given for singular footballing fuck ups. Case Study example: Freddy Fabris driving a poisonous soul sucking dagger through the heart of every Moody Blue player, supporter, friend with that back pass (One year later and NO ONE’S forgotten a fucken thing Freddy!). But something happened in 2018. Something very very big. After years of trudging through the mental, emotional and literal mud the Moody Blues won the Cairns Old Mongrel’s Carnival. IN BOTH FUCKING AGE GROUPS.
This award is normally given for singular footballing fuck ups. Case Study example: Freddy Fabris driving a poisonous soul sucking dagger through the heart of every Moody Blue player, supporter, friend with that back pass (One year later and NO ONE’S forgotten a fucken thing Freddy!). But something happened in 2018. Something very very big. After years of trudging through the mental, emotional and literal mud the Moody Blues won the Cairns Old Mongrel’s Carnival. IN BOTH FUCKING AGE GROUPS.
That is enormous but it brings us to some brutal maths.
2008 – 2017 we win fuck all carnivals.
In 2018 minus Millsy, Graham, Paddy, Andy and cuntbag Freddy we WIN THE CARNIVAL IN BOTH AGE GROUPS????
Have we had a club epiphany? Have the above Moodies stalwarts been holding us back? Surely the men mentioned have bled blue, been brother in arms, worked tirelessly to push the Moodies agenda – nah, fuck em.
Winners of the 2018 YES CUNT IT’S YOUR FUCKEN FAULT AWARD: Carnival no shows - Uncle Millsy, Graham, Paddy, Andy and the man they call Freddy.
2008 – 2017 we win fuck all carnivals.
In 2018 minus Millsy, Graham, Paddy, Andy and cuntbag Freddy we WIN THE CARNIVAL IN BOTH AGE GROUPS????
Have we had a club epiphany? Have the above Moodies stalwarts been holding us back? Surely the men mentioned have bled blue, been brother in arms, worked tirelessly to push the Moodies agenda – nah, fuck em.
Winners of the 2018 YES CUNT IT’S YOUR FUCKEN FAULT AWARD: Carnival no shows - Uncle Millsy, Graham, Paddy, Andy and the man they call Freddy.
But while we are here I would also like to make official mention of another dastardly turncoat. His actions deemed so egregious that even Moodies legacy player and winner of the 2016 Tree of Shame Award, Dave Hughes wanting a vote for an intervention and possible revocation of this person’s Moody Blues Life Time Member Award.
Mr Scott ‘Dodgey’ Doherty. Dodge has a list of Moodies achievements as long as your arm which include being the former Moodies President, Coach, MVP, Treasurer, the calves of a zero sized model and Seeing Eye Dog for Norm and last man to orchestrate a Moody’s carnival win. Scott appeared to have been so desperate to prevent the Moodies 45’s from winning a carnival and preserve his version of a winning tradition he took the field against the Moodies and had the fucken nerve to play well. Not that it mattered. Dodge you can’t change destiny.
2018 Yes Cunt, It’s Your Fucken Fault Award: Participation Certificate: Dodgey.
Mr Scott ‘Dodgey’ Doherty. Dodge has a list of Moodies achievements as long as your arm which include being the former Moodies President, Coach, MVP, Treasurer, the calves of a zero sized model and Seeing Eye Dog for Norm and last man to orchestrate a Moody’s carnival win. Scott appeared to have been so desperate to prevent the Moodies 45’s from winning a carnival and preserve his version of a winning tradition he took the field against the Moodies and had the fucken nerve to play well. Not that it mattered. Dodge you can’t change destiny.
2018 Yes Cunt, It’s Your Fucken Fault Award: Participation Certificate: Dodgey.
BEST ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT AWARD
This award is meant to acknowledge and celebrate those incidents where an action is taken and message sent, that particular liberties or actions will no longer be endured by the good-natured heart of the Moody Blues playing fraternity. Of course, this award naturally has you thinking of tasty tackling or El Andy’s player/ref relationship violence, but no. This trophy, in its maiden outing, was won by a Greek goal keeper, coming out of his box, like Aries descending from Mt Freekeh, ready for war. Ok, maybe not, but here’s what happened...
This award is meant to acknowledge and celebrate those incidents where an action is taken and message sent, that particular liberties or actions will no longer be endured by the good-natured heart of the Moody Blues playing fraternity. Of course, this award naturally has you thinking of tasty tackling or El Andy’s player/ref relationship violence, but no. This trophy, in its maiden outing, was won by a Greek goal keeper, coming out of his box, like Aries descending from Mt Freekeh, ready for war. Ok, maybe not, but here’s what happened...
Opposing winger crosses the ball at waist height. Ball comes across the box and Spiro, tracking the center-forward charging for the ball, comes off his line. The center- forward clearly has designs for the ball or a body check on our Kaleas. Spiro catches the ball and turns with his shoulder. Shoulder hits forwards chin, forward snaps backward like he took a sniper bullet to the head. Back of head hits ground with that deep thud sound. They say beware of Greeks baring gifts. Well Spiro with ball comes down with a gift-wrapped Randy ‘Machoman Savage’ elbow, full body weight, elbow point onto the chin of the now dazed forward. Poor bastard is left lying ko’d on the ground in ‘Christ Redeemer’ pose. Attitude adjustment message posted and delivered. The bloke I was marking turned to me and said, “I think he’s dead”. I couldn’t disagree with him. Spiro, with some John Wick-three hit-touch- of- death- shit, for the win, knock out of the night bonus in his pay packet and the inaugural winner of this trophy.
BEST ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT AWARD: Spiro Kaleas.
MOST RACIST AWARD & TEAM SPIRIT AWARD
It is very unusual that these two awards are won in tandem.
The Moody Blues FC is at heart a football club containing 30-40 chaps who all like kicking a ball on a Wednesday night. Of course, with any club there are administrative tasks, meetings to attend and negotiating that occurs between other clubs and in particular the league organizer. Sometimes there are agenda’s and directions that are pushed at all of the clubs, which I am personally indifferent about but do my best to consider what the general message is and then how it is communicated to the clubmen. Case in point I start getting text messages from League Organizer Derek stating, “I would like to raise fighting as completely unacceptable and come to an agreement on a more suitable punishment”. Then came, “Remind your players this is a social comp, predominantly for fun and not an opportunity to take out players because you had a bad day”. Then came the new league rule: mandatory four-week ban, for any player throwing punches, kicks, biting etc. I examined the new rule, text’d it to everyone and even spoke face to face with many of you in a stylized way to ensure YOU UNDERSTOOD THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH. Someone caught it on film....
MOST RACIST AWARD & TEAM SPIRIT AWARD
It is very unusual that these two awards are won in tandem.
The Moody Blues FC is at heart a football club containing 30-40 chaps who all like kicking a ball on a Wednesday night. Of course, with any club there are administrative tasks, meetings to attend and negotiating that occurs between other clubs and in particular the league organizer. Sometimes there are agenda’s and directions that are pushed at all of the clubs, which I am personally indifferent about but do my best to consider what the general message is and then how it is communicated to the clubmen. Case in point I start getting text messages from League Organizer Derek stating, “I would like to raise fighting as completely unacceptable and come to an agreement on a more suitable punishment”. Then came, “Remind your players this is a social comp, predominantly for fun and not an opportunity to take out players because you had a bad day”. Then came the new league rule: mandatory four-week ban, for any player throwing punches, kicks, biting etc. I examined the new rule, text’d it to everyone and even spoke face to face with many of you in a stylized way to ensure YOU UNDERSTOOD THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH. Someone caught it on film....
Of course, some of you incorrectly interpreted my message as a dare which is where two natural disasters collide. I looked back over the history of the Most Racist Award and all too frequently Saints players have been the whining, bitchy muse for the winners of the Most Racist Award. So, game one, I remind everyone about the new four match ban rule and what does the Moody Blues Over 35’s do? – they have an all-in brawl with Saints. Luke Viz decides to up his shed his happy, all round smiling demeanor and ends up with some blokes’ hands around his throat and getting his hair pulled. Viz responds by wrapping his tradie bear paws around the bloke’s neck and the dude has the temerity to look fucking surprised! Anyway, I can only guess at who had the stronger grip because said person cried to Derek, asked for the rego money back he only paid that night back and fucked off never to be seen again.
The only saving grace was so many people where involved, Derek was more worried about people not paying match fee’s and him getting his car repo’d than enforcing THE BRAND NEW FOUR WEEK BAN FOR FIGHTIING. I do admire the 35’s for acting as a team hence the Spirit Award but I also look over at the racial diversity of Saints and am left wondering about the cold racist undertones of the 35’s. Your defense against the suspicion of a superior race mentality is not helped by you pushing out El Andy (The clubs only illegal), Toddy (Ageist) and DJ (Ranga gene). Make Australia great guys.
DUEL WINNER OF THE TEAM SPIRIT & MOST RACIST AWARDS: MOODIES Over 35’s
DUEL WINNER OF THE TEAM SPIRIT & MOST RACIST AWARDS: MOODIES Over 35’s
2018 was a long and eventful year for the boys.
2019 is here. Get in.
2019 is here. Get in.