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Player Profile: Mark Rantucci
Nick names: Tucci, , The Tucci, Tooks, Dimbulah's Sexiest Man 1997 -99, Late, Daddy.
Likes: Gentleman’s Clubs, Mumma’s cooking, Slaying pigs
Dislikes: Turning up on time, John Brimstone's fucking football management style, any cunt from Mareeba, pool cues
Nick names: Tucci, , The Tucci, Tooks, Dimbulah's Sexiest Man 1997 -99, Late, Daddy.
Likes: Gentleman’s Clubs, Mumma’s cooking, Slaying pigs
Dislikes: Turning up on time, John Brimstone's fucking football management style, any cunt from Mareeba, pool cues
![Picture](/uploads/1/5/1/1/15111510/editor/img-2020_1.jpg?1502698513)
Speaking of football what's your favorite move of the pitch?
Rantucci: It's called the 'Tobacco Farmer'. You start off running strong like the rising sun but at dusk you end up coughing until your sphincter ruptures, normally during goal scoring opportunities.
Hobbies: Being the extra man who plays for opposition teams, missing certain chances from less than six yards,
Phobias: Playing in my own age division, being fit, scoring goals, being away from home for 72+ hours
Rantucci: It's called the 'Tobacco Farmer'. You start off running strong like the rising sun but at dusk you end up coughing until your sphincter ruptures, normally during goal scoring opportunities.
Hobbies: Being the extra man who plays for opposition teams, missing certain chances from less than six yards,
Phobias: Playing in my own age division, being fit, scoring goals, being away from home for 72+ hours
![Picture](/uploads/1/5/1/1/15111510/editor/tucci1.jpg?1502698849)
Worst footballing injury?
Rantucci: bruised ego, loss of my single abdominal muscle
Whats something we don't know about you?
Rantucci: I don’t actually know how to drive a tractor
If a book was written about your life what would the title be?
Rantucci: That's a hard one Bordo. There are so many to choose from. Whatta you reckon?.
Bordo - I've just handed in the final draft of your biography for publish. I titled it, "Couldn't finish a Wank - the Mark Rantucci (Non) Goal Scoring Odyssey."
Rantucci: Sounds like a best seller.
Rantucci: bruised ego, loss of my single abdominal muscle
Whats something we don't know about you?
Rantucci: I don’t actually know how to drive a tractor
If a book was written about your life what would the title be?
Rantucci: That's a hard one Bordo. There are so many to choose from. Whatta you reckon?.
Bordo - I've just handed in the final draft of your biography for publish. I titled it, "Couldn't finish a Wank - the Mark Rantucci (Non) Goal Scoring Odyssey."
Rantucci: Sounds like a best seller.
![Picture](/uploads/1/5/1/1/15111510/published/img-2019.jpg?1502699774)
Anything you want to confess?
Rantucci: People don't know this but I actually still owe two nuddy runs over my back to back lowest team goal scorer accomplishments.
Bordo - Cunt, everyone knows that. You officially won the Golden Shin Pad award last year and probably the year before if anyone gave a shit enough to look it up?
Rantucci - Harsh but fair. Ok ok there may be some links to several criminal organisations responsible for the production and distribution of ‘chop chop’.
Bordo - What does that mean?
Rantucci: Nothing fuck ya. Shut up. It's wog business.
Rantucci: People don't know this but I actually still owe two nuddy runs over my back to back lowest team goal scorer accomplishments.
Bordo - Cunt, everyone knows that. You officially won the Golden Shin Pad award last year and probably the year before if anyone gave a shit enough to look it up?
Rantucci - Harsh but fair. Ok ok there may be some links to several criminal organisations responsible for the production and distribution of ‘chop chop’.
Bordo - What does that mean?
Rantucci: Nothing fuck ya. Shut up. It's wog business.
Let's talk football. Some say the team is better off without you. How would you respond?
Rantucci: Simply, I would have to agree, nothing to say otherwise……………..my last game was less than great.
Bordo: Ok. I'll bite. Take me through your last game?
Rantucci: Well I played hard and created chances tirelessly, unleashed a highly pressured shot in a well defended area and I ensured I supported my team mates verbally when we received an unfavorable penalty decision. In the second half I up held the Moody Blues gentleman's code, discussed a moment in the game the ref appeared to have overlooked, and then supported an aged fellow player for the opposition to achieve a memorable moment of personal development and glory.
Bordo: Let me see if I wrote this down correctly,....you fucked a number of piss easy chances, included one from point blank and then started to blow wind out your arse 12 minutes into the game and needed to be subbed off, but not before shaking your head at your team mates who copped a ridiculous penalty call. When you came back you terrorized a corner flag with a disgraceful penalty miss and the team made fun of you at half time. In the second half at the score locked 2 - 2 you scored a goal which may have involved your hand. Instead of honoring the Moody Blues code of "Always cheat", you actually grassed on yourself to the referee, telling him that you hand balled it, thus having the decision reversed. If that wasn't enough, in the last moments of the game, you went absolutely through a man, 35 years your senior, for a easy penalty and an 3 -2 win for a suck arse team of complete cunts. Did I get that right?
Rantucci: Is there an Over 55's division?
Bordo: Where's my pool cue?...
Rantucci: Simply, I would have to agree, nothing to say otherwise……………..my last game was less than great.
Bordo: Ok. I'll bite. Take me through your last game?
Rantucci: Well I played hard and created chances tirelessly, unleashed a highly pressured shot in a well defended area and I ensured I supported my team mates verbally when we received an unfavorable penalty decision. In the second half I up held the Moody Blues gentleman's code, discussed a moment in the game the ref appeared to have overlooked, and then supported an aged fellow player for the opposition to achieve a memorable moment of personal development and glory.
Bordo: Let me see if I wrote this down correctly,....you fucked a number of piss easy chances, included one from point blank and then started to blow wind out your arse 12 minutes into the game and needed to be subbed off, but not before shaking your head at your team mates who copped a ridiculous penalty call. When you came back you terrorized a corner flag with a disgraceful penalty miss and the team made fun of you at half time. In the second half at the score locked 2 - 2 you scored a goal which may have involved your hand. Instead of honoring the Moody Blues code of "Always cheat", you actually grassed on yourself to the referee, telling him that you hand balled it, thus having the decision reversed. If that wasn't enough, in the last moments of the game, you went absolutely through a man, 35 years your senior, for a easy penalty and an 3 -2 win for a suck arse team of complete cunts. Did I get that right?
Rantucci: Is there an Over 55's division?
Bordo: Where's my pool cue?...